That’s right, out with the old and in with the new and all that. I’m not what you could call a true hoarder but I do have tendencies,
especially where books and clothes are concerned. It wouldn’t require too big of a stretch of the imagination to see myself in later years as the subject of a documentary, surrounded by piles of books and navigating my way around the house through little tunnels. Or making the headlines like the woman who was suffocated in her own garage when piles of unworn clothes fell on her.
Strangely in all other areas I am ruthlessly minimalist. To such an extent that I never have any important documentation that I need because I’ve already binned it the second it’s out of the envelope. I need then to adopt the same single mindedness when it comes to books and clothes.
I’m quite good at passing books on once I’ve read them; the trouble is I buy more than in is humanly possible to read. I reckon if dedicated myself solely to reading for the rest of my life, I still wouldn’t get through all of the piles that are lined up waiting for me. There’s something about those 3 for 2s in Waterstones or the book of the week in Smiths, I find myself taken over and I can’t resist.
Likewise with clothes, I have tried to follow the rule of if you haven’t worn it in two years then get rid of it but it all seems so final. How do you know it won’t come back into fashion or that you won’t one day lose that excess blubber and finally fit into it? It’s obscene to come face to face with how many items still have the tag on them and have never been worn for one reason or another.
The two main culprits when it comes to squandering money are laid out bare for all to see: sales and so called bargains. Sales are never my friend as I get completely bedazzled by how much I’m saving and disregard the fact that it’s at least two sizes too small or meant for an occasion totally at odds with my lifestyle. I have a pair of Dolce and Gabanna trousers I can barely fit over one leg.
The other fashion blunder is buying on the cheap. As my mother is very fond of saying, “Buy cheap pay twice,” and I’m afraid to say she’s spot on. All those high street shops, which turn your head with the amounts you can purchase for less than twenty quid, are a false Nirvana; you might as well throw your money straight in the bin.
So here I am staring at mountains of clothes, some unworn and others well over the two year rule. I should take them all to the charity shop and clear some space but I can’t help thinking that I might wear them one day. I know what’s going to happen, just like every other time I’ve had a clear out, I’ll end up cramming the whole lot back to where it’s been languishing for God knows how long.
I’ve just wasted several hours of time, I really can’t spare, building piles of clothes only to put them all back again. I’m sure there’s probably a name for it and I’ll be featuring in a documentary, all about people with strange mental compulsions, any time soon.