In the first one the mystery man/person asked me if I was a lesbian. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was a little bit taken aback by the randomness of the question and did what any sensible person would do in this situation, I ignored it. However, the next day I received another one. This one more detailed basically asking me why, in my blog, I devalue men and only write about women.
My initial reaction, I have to confess, was a combination of shock and mirth. It sort of took me back to my younger years and being propositioned by unsavoury men in nightclubs, who upon being declined would bare their teeth, muttering darkly about lesbians. These men, whose egos were obviously hyper-fragile, didn’t understand that they were probably being turned away for a multitude of reasons, none of which were personal.
Anyway, initially I thought my mystery emailer could perhaps fall into this category, peeved because I wasn’t focusing exclusively on men. After a while though it did begin to niggle, to such an extent that I trawled back through all of my blog posts, which was a truly excruciating task, let me tell you I came very close to deleting the whole lot, looking for evidence that I had done a disservice to men. True, lots of my posts are about fabulous women, who I am lucky enough to have had the privilege of knowing but surely that doesn’t mean that I don’t value men equally as much.
Maybe I haven’t been explicit enough in my posts but I have lots of men in my life that I love dearly and I completely recognise the vital role that they play in making the world go around. I think dads often get a raw deal and I would go as far as to say that
all kids need a dad even though not everyone is lucky enough to have one. Boys in particular, crave male attention and role models and thank God there are enough wonderful men out there to step into the breach.
I won’t deny that I like being a woman and have never felt in any way inferior to a man but I also have never bought into the idea of the battle of the sexes. I think men and women are very different and each has very different skills and talents to bring to the world. I’m sure if you have kids or work with kids, you don’t need me to tell you that boys and girls, despite what proponents of nurture over nature would have us believe, are very different creatures. Acknowledging this is not to the detriment of one or the other but what is vitally important is that we devise a system where both are allowed to flourish.
I have male friends but they play a very different role to my female friends. Maybe it’s just the men I know but they don’t tend to want to sit around eating cake, debating the merits of George Clooney or Johnny Depp. They do, however, have an ability to cut to the chase and, if I want advice or criticism, I will ask a male friend knowing it won’t even enter his head to dress it up or hold back. I have found men to be very literal beings who take you at your word and sometimes that is what is needed to get the job done.
I wouldn’t be without any of my friends, male or female and for all of them I am pretty sure that gender is not an issue. All of them are kind, intelligent people who want a world that is equal and fair. Most of them have children, both daughters and sons, who they are bringing up to be the best human beings that they can be regardless of their gender. I hope this clarifies a few things and my mystery emailer is now satisfied that I do not have an agenda to diminish men in my blog.